Wednesday, February 06, 2008


I know that as a person we will always, for the rest of our lives, be changing and becoming more Christ-like as God works in us and reveals to us parts of our lives that don't reflect him and need to change, but I also know there's a time when you feel comfortable with yourself and the person who you are. Like for example, as a freshman in high school, I felt very uncomfortable with myself. Being cool, trying to be friends with the popular people and agreeing with them about everything seemed really important, but now I realize that wasn't really me. Now, I feel like I'm making a huge decision about where I'm going to college and I almost feel like I'm choosing between lives. I'm also afraid that I'm going to lose my friends that go to different colleges, and though I know its selfish of me, I don't want my friendships to grow apart. Am I supposed to be the more quiet, reserved one who doesn't always talk? Or am I supposed to be out there, challenging the other opinions and being a leader? I want to be used by God no matter where I go and what I do, but I want to reach my full potential, and I'm afraid that I won't. I suppose I will reach the potential that God wants me to reach, which is amazing, because without him I wouldn't be able to reach any potential, just unfortunately, I don't know what that potential is yet.


Alyssa said...

Oddly enough, I remember thinking about those same things, about deciding who I wanted to be. And now that I'm past that I realized that I wasted a lot of time trying to decide who I was, and I forgot to just be me. I wouldn't think about it too much, if I were you.
And just remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever in the same way they may have started out. It doens't mean you have to stop likeing old friends, but things change as you get older and if you focus too much on the past it can depress you. Learn from it and then think ahead to the new possibilities and friends you don't even know about yet!

Ready To Fly.... said...

Hey I havent been to your blog in ages but thought i would drop by and see what was going on with you.

You sound like you have quite the delema (sp?). However you should remember are a child of God and if you keep your eyes on Him, He can get you through the hardest of decisions and situations. He will also give you peace in your mind and heart. God has really been teaching me alot about leaning on Him and trusting His timing and decisions in my life and it seems far out and crazy when I try to comprehend it in my mind. However, when i let Him worry about it all and go about my daily life I have complete peace in the craziest of moments. God wants us to let HIM worry about the future and wants us to concentrate on today and just let Him hold our hand and lead us along "springs of living water." Sorry didnt mean to write a book...just thought I would share. I'll be praying for you!