"There comes a time in your life where you grow, you change, you find yourself somewhere deep inside, sometimes this phase of life is wonderful, as it should be. The discovery of new things, the excitement of life and the love and warmth it brings. But sometimes its not beautiful. Sometimes the changes are unwelcome because they bring anger, bitterness and resentment from loved ones. Sometimes these changes are so strong and so different from before that saying goodbye is the only way to move forward. But through this part of life whether beautiful or gray, there will be a blossoming flower, even if it is a time of hurt, of tears and of loneliness, the result will be a smile, a memory of the good times and a looking forward to the future."
^I found that. I think it says a lot of what I feel.
Today I was listening to a CD and in between the songs, there was this challenge from the artist that I had never heard and that you wouldn't hear unless you listen through the CD without skipping tracks, anyway, I think this is a good thing to remember. "Kings don't wear crowns in crowds for what? They're more smart than that." :)
Also, I need to pick a song to play with my slide show for graduation at church. I'm having some trouble, because I love so many songs and so many different kinds of music. If anyone has any suggestions, I would definitely entertain them.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
I know that as a person we will always, for the rest of our lives, be changing and becoming more Christ-like as God works in us and reveals to us parts of our lives that don't reflect him and need to change, but I also know there's a time when you feel comfortable with yourself and the person who you are. Like for example, as a freshman in high school, I felt very uncomfortable with myself. Being cool, trying to be friends with the popular people and agreeing with them about everything seemed really important, but now I realize that wasn't really me. Now, I feel like I'm making a huge decision about where I'm going to college and I almost feel like I'm choosing between lives. I'm also afraid that I'm going to lose my friends that go to different colleges, and though I know its selfish of me, I don't want my friendships to grow apart. Am I supposed to be the more quiet, reserved one who doesn't always talk? Or am I supposed to be out there, challenging the other opinions and being a leader? I want to be used by God no matter where I go and what I do, but I want to reach my full potential, and I'm afraid that I won't. I suppose I will reach the potential that God wants me to reach, which is amazing, because without him I wouldn't be able to reach any potential, just unfortunately, I don't know what that potential is yet.